If you’ve followed me on here or Instagram for a while, you’ll know that I talk a lot about self-acceptance, self-love and confidence. I’m pretty confident now. I generally wear what I want, don’t look for approval on what I wear and don’t care if people look at me because I’m wearing a neon pink shirt and ripped jeans. But I haven’t always been this way. I always call self love a journey and not a destination because no one feels confident 24 hours a day and seven days a week. Things change. We change. Life changes. But I truly believe unless you can accept yourself the way you are, it’s almost impossible to find the kind of love that you’re looking for. That kind of love where you’re best friends, life companions as well as partners. Of course, It can happen, it isn’t a miracle that people can be happy together. But unless you build your own confidence and learn to love and respect yourself, it can be hard to find someone who should be doing that too, because we except standards which actually, are not right or fair. You deserve the world. Don’t ever forget it.
How do I start to love myself?
So, the first thing you need to do is remind yourself of how fabulous you are. Before you go looking for that special someone, you need to know you are amazing, worthy, intelligent, kind, funny, beautiful… the list goes on. Write your top three favourite things about yourself on your fridge, mirror, or back of the door. Then before you leave the house every day and before you go to bed every day I want you to say them out loud. Feel silly? Great, it’s working. Positive re-enforcement is what we need. Keep telling yourself that you are amazing until you believe it without thinking. Trust me. It works.
How do I build my confidence when it comes to dating?
If you need to build your confidence up when it comes to meeting people, free UK dating sites are a great idea. Joining somewhere like matchmehappy.co.uk means there’s no pressure to meet anyone in person. You can get used to talking about yourself and bigging yourself up. I’m not talking about catfishing and saying you’re the next Beyonce unless of course, that’s what you believe, in which case go for it! I just mean share your qualities, enjoy talking about yourself and how great you are at quiz shows or remembering lyrics in songs. Talk about how you love your eyes or how you amazing your bum is! Practise talking to people, build that confidence before you actually look for love.
How long will this take?
You know, it’s a cliché but love always comes when you least expect it. Join that gym, go to that pottery class or sign up to that college course. When you take time out to look after yourself, to invest in you as a person and do it for no -one else, it’s amazing how the world works. People will come into your life, not just lovers, but friends. Who will see you for the creative, hard-working and beautiful person you are. Because when you invest in yourself. You’ll start to see it too.
As I said, it’s a journey, not a destination when it comes to self-love and confidence. But you have to build yourself up before you can find someone who’s going to help you on that journey. You deserve to be happy and loved. Not just by someone else. But by yourself.